Not This Time
by LavenderLimmerick
Summary: Hotch froze when he heard her voice over the line. My first shot at a multi chapter fic in Criminal Minds. Prentiss is kidnapped, how can they survive without her? Will they find her before she dies? Or is there something worse than dying?
1. The Call

"Hotch," He answered on the first ring. There was a soft breathing coming through the other end of the phone and slight movement in the background. He immediately put down his pen and closed his eyes, his mind quickly focusing. Something about the breathing with no response, he had no doubt that this wasn't a normal phone call.

"Hello!?" he asked getting agitated with nothing but the breath of a stranger puffing into his ear.

"Hello Agent Hotchner." The voice said coolly. The breathing returned slow and even.

"Can I do anything for you?" Hotch asked beginning to wonder if this was some sort of sick joke.

"Well," the voice replied, "I believe I have something of yours." A moment of silence and as Hotch was about to speak a low moan came across the line. He froze. No. It this couldn't be happening, it couldn't be her. He waited not believing what was right in front of him. "Is she yours?" the voice asked. Hotch said nothing. A smack rang out and he cringed. "Is she YOURS?" the voice asked again, more impatient and irritated. He responded immediately, knowing that if he didn't, she would be punished.

"Yes, Agent Prentiss is on my team." He shot out quickly and quickly continued, "What are you doing?" the call finally having reached his brain instead of his heart where it had been from her first sound. "She is a federal agent. You think we won't find you? You think we can't hunt you down? Ask her, she'll tell you." He finished, angry and scared at the same time. Prentiss was strong. Pain didn't show up on her radar, or if it did, you never saw it. For her to be moaning like that….

"Would you like to speak to her?" He asked, seeming to ignore Hotch's line of questioning.

"Yes." He answered waiting to hear just how bad she was.

"Hotch." Her voice whispered over the phone.

"Yeah Emily. It's me. You have to stay strong ok? Tell me how bad it is." He said in a soft, as close to comforting as he could get as scared out of his mind, voice. She mumbled something incoherent. "Em," he said, screw formality, "You have tell me how bad."

"Bad." She whispered. "Hotch, he's blindfolded me. My hands are behind my back and I, well he-", a gasp broke into her speak.

"Emily!" he yelled into the phone, "What's he doing? Emily!"

"Hotch!" he heard her scream in the background. An unfamiliar sound rang over the phone and it took him a second place it. Fabric ripping. Dear God.

"You get off her!" he screamed into the phone. A laugh filled his ears and seeped into his brain, mixed with Emily's yells and more fabric ripping. "No." Hotch whispered. "No!"

"Agent Hotchner, I'm afraid I have to leave now, I have some business to attend to. And as to your earlier questions, no, you will not find me. The woman how was once yours, has become mine. And Agent Hotchner, I will enjoy it."

The dial tone filled his ears and he looked up as someone came running into his office a worried on her face.

"Hotch?" JJ asked, a bit breathless from the obvious run she had done to get to his office. "What's wrong? Why were you screaming?"

Hotch looked at her, eyes glassy and broken. "Emily." He whispered.

JJ's eyes got bigger. "What happened Hotch? What is wrong with Emily?" her voice mirroring her internal panic.

"She's been kidnapped JJ. Get the team. Now." He replied, quickly putting up his invincible facade. One break was enough. He had to be a fearless leader for his team, but not only for them. He had to be strong for _her_. Haley's death had been his fault and he was not going to let it happen again. He couldn't let the woman he loved slip through his fingers. Not this time.


	2. Telling the Team

_Hey, I'm so sorry about not putting a warning on the first chapter! I'm still not exactly sure where I'm going with this, but that's no excuse not to at least warn. There will definitely be a little violence, and as to any other content, I am not planning on writing a first hand account, if I go that direction at all. I apologize if I offended anyone, I was just so excited to get the first chapter up. Thanks for reviewing!_

Hotch stood at the head of the conference table looking out over his team. He had just replayed his phone call and he watched his team crumble as the dial tone echoed into the room. Garcia's sobs could be clearly heard over Morgan's speaker phone and JJ's eyes had gone glassy and distant long before the phone call ended. Rossi was staring at the phone. Just staring, like the unsub's words could be seen if he looked hard enough. Morgan was gripping the table, knuckles white and face showing such a wide range of emotion. Rage, then sadness, then determination. Reid just looked lost, as if he was a small child who had lost his mother, because in a way, Hotch guessed, he had. Emily was his protector. Tears threatened to fall from the youngest profiler's eyes but his thinking face was clearly on. And in the room all was silent.

Hotch knew that they couldn't waste time breaking down, but allowed a few moments before he spoke. "Garcia." He said, his voice soft, but it seemed like a shout in the midst of all the grief. His only response was a louder sob.

"Garcia." He said a little more forcefully, "I need you to try and trace this call. Analyze the background sounds and call us as soon as you get anything. Can you do that?" he asked the last part in his quiet voice. He knew they were hurting but they needed to find her.

"Mmhm." Garcia replied and he could almost see her nodding her head. There was no snappy remark at the end of the call, Hotch couldn't help but catalogue. He cleared his throat and addressed his team.

"We need to work out a profile. We don't have much but let's do what we can. We need to find her, and we all know that." He finished looking to each of his team attempting to find a pair of eyes. No one looked up. Reid began to say something but stopped, still studying the table intensely. "Reid?" he asked.

"He used possessive words such as yours and mine. He looks at Emily-", he paused, "Sorry, uhh, the victim, as an object or lesser individual." He finished.

"Emily's not a victim." JJ contributed on what seemed like impulse. The mask was still on and her eyes were still far away.

"He allowed Hotch to talk to Emily, and that seems to indicate that he was trying to torture him as much as her. If it was simply an informative call, he would have told him he had her and hung up." Morgan said through gritted teeth.

"But he seems to be switching perspectives." Rossi said, obviously having been the first of the team to fully to fully snap out of it.

"Huh?" JJ asked shaking her head, in what looked like an attempt to shake away all the bad. You never can, Hotch mentally told her but focused on Rossi.

"He goes from showing emotion in the beginning, to treating the whole thing like a business deal near the end. He's either unsure what he's doing, which I doubt, you don't kidnap a federal agent being inexperienced, or he's under extreme emotional stress. That would explain the outburst followed by the business like demeanor. It's his coping mechanism. He disassociates himself." Rossi finished.

"Well I'd call having to control a kidnap victim extreme emotional stress." Morgan bit out. No one was shocked, and they all immediately forgave him. That's how they all felt.

"That's not much." JJ said, taking out her phone. Hotch had known that his superiors would need to be told, but his team had been more important. He would thank JJ later.

"It's all we've got for now." Hotch said, angry at his own words.

"So what exactly do you expect us to do?" Morgan asked bitterly.

"Go over the phone call again, help Garcia if you can but mostly, we have to wait." He finished. Slowly, the team filed out.

Hotch felt the box in his pocket as he leaned against the wall. A soft velvet box, that a held a ring. A ring that he had hoped would have been Emily's. If he ever went home, the roses that he had ordered would be wilted and his meal ingredients gone rotten. He had planned it to be perfect for her, everything she deserved. It had all been ruined and now he was on the brink of losing her. And he couldn't live through that again.

_So the end was similar on purpose and I think that this chapter was still a kind of set up chapter but I wanted to really write something that would happen on the show, and this is what I ended up with. Please review and tell me what you think!_

_Kennedy_


	3. Branded

Hotch's phone rang and it shattered the silence of the conference room. Everyone's head shot up in alarm and pen's stilled. It rang once more before Hotch snatched up the receiver.

"Agent Hotchner." He answered voice strong even if his insides were shaking.

"Hello." It was the voice. Hotch nodded to the team and put it on speaker.

"What do you want?" He asked anger at this person, if you could call him that, boiling over.

"I wanted to set up a system Agent, and please, settle down. We wouldn't want any harm to come to Miss. Prentiss now would we?" the voice asked, with a hint of a laugh. Hotch fought the urge to scream or to beg. A muffled noise came from the background. "Shut up." Came the voice from a distance over the line and what sounded like a kick was delivered. JJ gasped and Morgan's fists clenched.

"I will call every five hours." The voice announced. "For every five hours you do not find her, there will be a punishment. The first five hours have elapsed and I wanted you to hear the first punishment." A thunk could clearly be heard over the phone as he set it down. "I will now brand what is mine." He finished shortly. Whimpers could be heard over the line.

"No!" Hotch yelled. He was too late.

"Hotch!" she screamed as the metal connected with skin.

JJ grabbed for the trashcan as she emptied what little she'd been able to eat. Hotch felt tears roll down his face although his face showed no emotion. Sobs could be heard over the phone, and Morgan got up to leave the room. He stopped at the door when Emily's voice echoed through the room.

"It's bad."

It came out more as breathless whimper but it was still clearly audible. Hotch punched the board, his anger too much. He needed an outlet, but she wasn't here to talk to. She was there. With him. With the minutes counting down until her next punishment.

"As you see, I am serious. Agent Prentiss obviously means an awfully lot to you over there, and it would do you some good to see what it's like to have something taken away from you. Believe me, you don't want to learn of the next punishment." He ended the call and once again the dial tone swallowed the room.

JJ was sobbing and Rossi had gotten up to comfort her. He held the media liaison against his chest and seemed to speak to Hotch with a look. "We can handle much more of this" Hotch nodded and cast a glance to Morgan and Reid. Morgan remained at the door staring out over the BAU. His body language screamed of rage. Reid seemed to be flipping through a file he had in front of him at top speed.

"You have something?" he asked him. Reid didn't look up or respond. "Reid." He said a bit more forcefully.

"Well, if I had to guess, I'd say that the UnSub was either a relative of a past UnSub or a past victim. The way he said 'To have something taken away you.' It seemed to indicate that us losing something would even the score. He blames us, particularly you, for him losing someone close to him and he wants retribution. He wants to even the score. Torture us like he believes he was." Reid said still flipping.

"That's good Reid, but that's too many names, we can't check up on everyone. We need a way to narrow it down." Hotch said, speaking the obvious.

"Does anyone come to mind?" Reid asked. "Does anyone you remember stand out as truly hating you?" Hotch thought back and sighed. There were dozens of people who hated him. It was a part of the job he had long since accepted, but had never gotten used to. Does having people hate you mean that you have failed?

"Hotch?" Reid asked again looking questioningly at his boss.

"I'll write some down." He said shaking his head. Her screams rolled in his head and he couldn't think. He held the pen in his hand, poised in his hand but it didn't touch paper. All he could think about was her. Screaming for him to save her. It had been him that she had needed and he had failed her. He couldn't imagine the hell she was going through. And the worst part was that this probably had nothing to do with her. It was his fault someone was after her. It was like some sick recurring theme.

Aaron Hotchner: A man who should never be loved.


	4. Darkness

_Thanks for the reviews! So sorry for the temporary hiatus, life got in the way! Here is the next chapter, with my apologies on being late. I wanted to clarify a little on the last line. That's how he was feeling. He was kind of shutting down because he blames himself. Thanks again! _

_Kennedy_

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and he immediately answered.

"Hotchner."

"Agent Hotchner, We're you going to inform me about this situation?" It was Strauss. Just what he needed.

"Strauss." He mouthed to Rossi who had looked up at the ring. He rolled his eyes.

"I did tell you. You received a phone call from Agent Jareau didn't you?" he asked irritated with her. Dealing with his superiors was not his priority.

"Do not use that tone Agent. When something like this happens I expect to hear from the unit chief. Is that understood?" She said smoothly into the phone.

"Where you even going to ask about her? Or are you just here to reprimand me?" Hotch said, done with her. He was on the verge of yelling. "Do you even care?"

"Agent Hotchner, I believe that this phone call is over." She finished and hung up. Hotch fists curled and uncurled a few times before he sat down and continued writing his list.

It was a sharp intense pain that she awoke to. It took her only a few moments of confusion before the explanation came flooding back and she recognized the pain. It was her brand. "Yes. That's what it was." Her brain reminded, and pushed her into belief. The sharp pain seemed to decrease to just a dull numbness everywhere but her side, where the hot metal had seared her pale skin. Tears sprang to her eyes unwillingly as she tried to move. "Access the damage." Her brain demanded and she did.

The blindfold had been taken off and she could now make out the room in which she was being kept. She could also see the UnSub when he returned. Something to her advantage.

She couldn't move at the present time because every time she did, her body threatened to jump the boat and pass out on her. One strike against her.

Her hands were bound, but she might be able to solve that.

All in all, it could have been worse.

She couldn't see the brand or remember ever seeing the metal he used, but she needed to see it. Intense pain be damned, she had to see the scar that would be part of her for the rest of her life. Her body screamed and she didn't even try to stop the tears as she moved. When she stopped, breathless and broken, she was in an upright position.

She sat that for a few long minutes, catching her breath. The movement had caused pain to flair up like wildfire and she realized her brain had been blocking it, focusing only on the worst. She seemed to be broken all over. She took in a deep breath and tried to move both arms. She found that her right arm could move much easier than her left, which she was 50% sure was broken. She moved the fabric on her side and what she saw took her breath away.

Seared on to pale flesh were two stars and a crescent moon. She had known what had been done to her, and she thought she had even accepted it…. But actually seeing it? It forced her practical mind into a corner. She had been abducted and as much faith as she had in Hotch in the team, she knew that the odds were against them.

Slowly realization seeped into her brain and she closed her eyes. She sat in the dim light and gave into the emotions that had been eating away at her. Silent tears cascaded down her face and she didn't wipe them away. Here, injured and alone, Emily Prentiss allowed herself to cry.

h


	5. Keep Holding On

_Okay Holiday Hiatus after this, and I apologize profusely. I gotta spend time with the family but here's the next chapter! I don't own "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne or Criminal Minds. Thanks so much for the reviews, I feel so flattered!_

Five precious hours had elapsed. The phone call was coming any minute and all they could do was wait. Wait for the ring that would mean another failure. Emily would receive another punishment.

_You're not alone,_

_Together we stand,_

_I'll be by your side,_

_You know I'll take your hand._

_When it gets cold_

_And it feels like the end_

_There's no place to go_

_You know I won't give in…._

The phone rang crisp and clear through the conference room shattering any hope of him sparing her. Hotch picked up the phone and took a breath, steeling himself for the rough call he knew was coming.

"Hotchner." He answered his voice strong for his team.

"I'm unimpressed." The voice said. "I expected more from one of the FBI's most famous units."

"We are doing our best." Hotch answered slowly, not sure what would upset the UnSub. "May I speak with her?" he asked, voice faltering slightly.

"As before, you may speak with her for only a short time." The voice answered. There was a rustling.

"Hotch?" her voice came over the line.

_Keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through,_

_We'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

'_Cause you know I'm here for you_

_I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you could say_

_Nothing you could do_

_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_

_So keep holding on_

'_Cause we'll make it through_

_Make it through_

"Emily." He whispered. "Thank God your still alive."

"Hotch, it's a crescent moon with two stars." She said between breaths. He could tell it was painful to breathe.

"What?" he asked confused.

"The brand!" she yelled from a distance. The phone must have been taken away from her when she said that.

"Put her back on the line!" he screamed, "Our time wasn't up!" There was the sickening laugh again.

"I don't think your in a position to be making orders Agent Hotchner." The man stated. "I think it's time that we see to her punishment, don't you?" he asked before laughing again. Just then he heard Prentiss start yelling in the back ground.

"Brown Hair, Mid thirties, Roughly 6'0, Caucasian!" She yelled from somewhere beyond the voice before something quickly silenced her. The voice muttered some cuss word at her before coming back on the line. "And now, I think that she has even more so earned the punishment. Agent Hotchner, what is the most beautiful part of Miss Prentiss?" Hotch was silent and a little stunned.

"It doesn't matter what I think!" he yelled, "If you touch her I will kill you myself!" The team looked at their leader. He was breaking, if not already broken.

"Tell me or she dies right now." He spit out. There was the distinct metallic sound of a gun being cocked.

"Fine!" he yelled, he had to stop him from killing the women he loved.

"What is it?"

"It's her smile." He sighed, "When Emily smiles, it feels like she's radiating her happiness and it's so rarely I see her truly happy. When she does smile, I have to smile back, because every time she does, I fall a little more in love with her. It may the most beautiful, but that's not what I love the most. What I love the most about Emily is her strength. She has shown weakness so rarely, and has such an amazing will not only to survive, but to prosper against all odds. She makes every life she touches a little better. _That_ is what I love about Emily Prentiss." He finished with tears streaming down his face.

_So far away_

_I wish you were here_

_Before it's to late_

_This could all disappear_

_Before the doors close_

_And it comes to an end_

_With you by my side I will fight and defend_

_Fight and defend_

_Yeah, yeah_

_Keep holding on_

'_Cause you know we'll make it through,_

_We'll make it through_

_Just stay strong_

'_Cause you know I'm here for you_

_I'm here for you_

_There's nothing you could say_

_Nothing you could do_

_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_

_So keep holding on_

'_Cause we'll make it through_

_Make it through_


	6. The Trace

"**Very Well, you have made your decision. You will never again see Miss Prentiss smile." the man on the other end of the line announced.**

"**Don't touch her!" Hotch screamed, yet he had no clue what he intended to do to Emily. **

"**Hotch!" Emily said from the background, "He's got a needle. Hotch, you need to get off the phone, I don't want you to hear this." **

"**Emily I am not hanging up on you! I am not abandoning you there with him! We are going to find you!" he yelled. He heard Garcia say something over the speaker phone in the room but couldn't quite tell what she had said.**

"**What Garcia?" he screamed, unable to stop the flow of his emotions. A sick idea had popped into his head about what the UnSub had intended to do and it made him want to vomit.**

"**I have a trace!" it was practically a scream over the speaker phone the speaker phone and it stopped Hotch's whole train of thought for a split second. But only that.**

"**Emily, were coming you gotta hold on for me! We are coming as fast as we can!" he said into the phone, the loudness of Garcia having made him check his volume. He was already out the door and sprinting across the BAU.**

"**Hotch hang up the phone." This time her voice was ice cold and detached. He'd heard that voice before, she was distancing herself from whatever was about to happen. It was worst than the brand, he could tell that just from this. Whatever was about to happen to her, was so bad she was consciously trying to isolate herself and she had not done that before.**

"**Emily were coming I promise. Stay talking to me, what's happening?" Hotch demanded clinging on every syllable because it meant that she was still alive.**

"**Hotch, he's going to sew my lips shut."**

**JJ sobbed and it was the only sound as they got into the SUV. Hotch took a deep breath and watched Rossi and Reid get into the other car. They hadn't heard her last statement and he thanked God for that. Morgan sat in the front seat driving furiously. Minutes passed in what seemed like hours. Their sirens blared and car horns honked but all Hotch could hear was the absence of her voice. She wasn't talking.**

"**Prentiss!" he yelled, "Talk to me!"**

"**Hotch's I think he's gonna hang up the phone now. I believe in you Hotch." **

**Those were her final words to him and then the dial tone. He hated that dial tone. It screamed at him, taunting him with every second he heard it. "Failure." It seemed to say, yet he couldn't find the strength to close the phone. Finally, JJ reached up her hand and took the phone from Hotch, closing it quickly as if it might sting her. Maybe it already had. She dropped it in his lap and sat back, wiping the tears from her face. Hotch realized how selfish he had been. It wasn't just him who love Emily. It was everyone. And they all had there way of dealing with the situation.**

**Morgan got angry.**

**Rossi angry and detached.**

**JJ detached and cried.**

**Garcia cried and worked.**

**And Reid, well he just looked lost. He could function, but not very well. It was as if this whole thing confused him. Hotch didn't have time to apologize now but he swore to himself he would. He knew that there was absolutely no way he could find the words at the current moment.**

"**2 Minutes." Morgan said as he strapped on his bulletproof vest and navigated traffic. Hotch strapped on his vest, but after that, seconds crawled by. It seemed as if the whole world was moving in slow motion even though Hotch was sure Morgan was beyond speeding. Finally they arrived at a house. Hotch didn't even wait for the car to stop before jumping out. He ran past a perfectly manicured lawn and waited at the door for a split second. **

"**FBI! Open up!" As Hotch waited for a response, Morgan and JJ joined him on the stoop and he heard Rossi's SUV pull up. He nodded to Morgan who smashed in the door. He stepped into the first room quickly clearing it. Nothing. Morgan had the same thing. JJ cleared the top floor as well and that left them with one door, what Hotch guessed to be the basement. He heard a crash from below and threw open the door. It took him seconds to fly down the stairs. **

**There, beaten and broken, lay Emily Prentiss.**

****

_**I know that I am evil… Is she alive are dead? What do you readers think? Drop me a review and tell me what you think!**_


	7. Always

_**Let me just say that the overwhelming reaction to my chapter stirred me to start writing this immediately! I have never had a story with so many readers and I appreciate your feedback so much! I admit that the lips being sewn shut is rather gruesome, but I had to have something that topped the branding and incorporated what Hotch said, so it fit the bill. Thanks and keep reviewing, it makes a girl write faster!**_

****

**He ran to her side pulled by almost a primal instinct. He didn't just need to get to her, he had to. When he reached where she lay he dropped to his knees and brushed his fingers along her cheek.**

"**Emily." He whispered. His hands shaking he pressed his fingers to her throat, desperate for a pulse. He couldn't find one. "Emily please," he choked out, "Emily, don't leave me like this." His hand was still on her neck went he felt the faintest of pulses. When he felt it he didn't even think it was there. Until he felt it again. And again. She was alive. **

"**I need a medic!" he screamed back to however was listening. It was only once he knew for sure that she was alive that he allowed himself to access the damage. She had bruises all over her face, and the deep sickening purple didn't stop there. But the most noticeable thing, the thing that drew his attention, was a needle. A sharp metal needle. The needle had been plunged straight through Emily's lips, in what Hotch was sure was a message: I could have done worse. He reasoned that the needle probably could be removed and that there would be little scaring, but the fact still remained. If they hadn't arrived when they did, Emily would most likely have been dead. Hotch let out a sob and thought how glad he was that she was unconscious. It was some kind of blessing that she couldn't see herself like this, almost naked and battered beyond recognition and he could only hope for one thing. "Give me this one prayer." Hotch begged God, "Please." He begged that whenever she did wake up, he would be there to protect her. **

* * *

**Hotch sat in the waiting room, pale hospital lights blaring down on him. The team sat around him in varying states of depression. Morgan sat on his left, arm slung around Garcia who cried quietly into his shoulder. She'd been doing that for two hours, and Morgan just looked angry as he clutched her like a life line. JJ was on his right, and he thought her state was even worse. JJ's eyes were distant as if they were looking right through the wall at something far away. Reid was next to JJ, holding her hand and looking altogether uncomfortable. He knew Reid wasn't one to cry, but what told him the most was Reid's silence. Instead of the loveable encyclopedia, he was stone silent. It seemed as if the UnSub had stolen his voice right along with Emily's security. Well, for that matter, the whole team had been silent. Even Mr. Let's-Reason-it- out-Rossi could only pace. His team was crumbling. **

**When Hotch couldn't bare to watch his team suffer anymore, he spoke softly.**

"**She'll be okay." There was the slight sound of heads turning towards him and that gave him courage. Maybe he could rally the troops. **

"**You don't know that Hotch!" Morgan yelled, anger exploding at the nearest target.**

"**Yes I do, and so do you. You think Emily's gonna let herself die at the hands of an UnSub? Let me answer that for you. No. She won't. Prentiss is a fighter and I thought we all knew that!" The last of that he finished at a yell accidentally. He almost quickly apologized but then held his tongue. They understood what he was going through, they were going through it too. He realized that here with his team, for once he didn't have to explain himself. It was like it was with her. They just understood and accepted. **

"**Who's here for Emily Prentiss?" a doctor in blood covered scrubs asked. Garcia eyed his scrubs and let out a louder wail, but they all got up.**

"**I'm sorry," the doctor said, "Only family." Hotch answered on impulse.**

"**We are family." The doctor raised his eyebrows but they must have not looked like a group to argue with, as he gave in.**

"**She's stable for now, but it will be touch-and-go tonight. If she makes it through till morning, I expect to move her to a regular room. There was a lot of internal bleeding, which we managed to stop, and the umm…" he trailed off.**

"**Whatever it is Doctor, you can tell us. We found her." Hotch said quickly, wanting to know everything and sure the team did too.**

"**The needle that was inserted in her lips was removed with no problem. There is a possibility that it will scar, but other than that she had a concussion, 3 broken ribs, and a broken left arm. I will warn you that seeing her in her current state will be tough. We have her under sedation and we plan on waking her up tomorrow. You all seem anxious to see her, but we only allow one visitor per patient at a time to the ICU." Hotch waited a few moments to see if the doctor was done speaking, and when it seemed he was Hotch nodded to his team. They all followed Hotch through the door, much to the protest of the doctor. Hotch ignored him. He only had one priority, and that was seeing Emily.**

**When they arrived in the room they were silent. All the noise in the small room was the beeping of the machines that were monitoring her every heartbeat. Hotch froze in the doorway. That sound… it was just like the dial tone. It was failure. His sense of shock was disrupted when JJ pushed him through the door, anxious to see one of her best friends. And when he saw her, laying there, tears sprang to his eyes. He didn't try to stop them as he came around the bed to hold her hand. **

**She was paler than usual, an unnatural sickly white that seemed to transform her into a ghost. He couldn't believe she was alive, but in this state, he wasn't sure she was. The purple of the bruises stood out like wine spilled on a white tablecloth. He picked up her hand it felt lifeless, like she wasn't there. It felt like down in that basement, maybe his Emily had died. Right now all he could see was a shell, and even that didn't look good. He prayed with all his being that she would get better. He prayed not only that her bruises would heal, but that she would return, and make this seemingly lifeless body light up again. He stroked he hair softly as if she was breakable. As if it was a porcelain doll laying beneath the covers, instead of a FBI agent.**

**As he stared at her face, seemingly willing her to wake up, he acknowledged that whatever Emily woke up would be changed. Changed forever. But in that moment he also made her a promise. He promised her out loud, right then and there that he would help her heal. He would be there every step of the way to hold her when she cried or to soothe away the nightmares. He would be there for her like she had been there for him. He leaned to her ear and whispered, just loud enough to here.**

"**I love you. Always." **

**He sealed this promise with a soft kiss on her forehead before floating to the back of the room to let his team have there time. Fresh tear tracks on his face Aaron Hotchner observed quietly but fought the pain by repeating his promise softly from his lips.**

"**Always." **

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_**So sorry if I didn't reply to your review! If I didn't mention it, I'm on holiday vacation and I barely have time to get the chapter up, and I figured that's what you would want **__**J I had a little challenge for my reviewers on this chapter. What is your favorite line or paragraph and why? I want to know what I am good at or what you like so I can write it more! Keep reviewing!**_

_**Kennedy**_


	8. Waking up to Reality

_Let me just say, I have absolutely no idea why the chapters are being posted in bold, I don't think it's just this computer either. Oh well, here is the next chapter! Thanks for the reviews! Minor language in this chap, but nothing you don't hear on T.V._

_Emily Prentiss awoke to the unpleasant sensation of aching pain. She moaned involuntarily when she tried to sit up. She couldn't really remember where she was and she felt like her hand was abnormally heavy with what seemed like a hand. She was determined to sit up and survey the room in which she was so she tried again. She let out more of a scream this time, but she managed to sit upright. She was in a hospital, that much was evident, but as to how she got there it was a little fuzzy. She remembered being cold and pain, but why? What happened?_

_Whatever noise she had made had risen the hand. She had completely forgotten about it in her struggle to remember. She looked over and found an exhausted Hotch smiling at her. Why the hell was Hotch smiling? _

"_Hmm mm hmm." was the noise that escaped her lips when she tried to speak. What she had meant to say was: You look rough. She closed her eyes and gripped his hand as tightly as she could. He lightly squeezed back before speaking softly._

"_Emily." It was almost a sigh, like he was relieved. Well, he probably was she reasoned, because whatever put her in this much pain, well, it had to be bad. She tried to form a word again but her mouth was still trying to wake up after its recent vacation. _

"_Hock." It was supposed to be Hotch but she was sure the message got across. She was relieved a little to have him there, her other half in a way, yet half of him seemed like her bitter enemy. There really were two parts. There was the part that she fought with every step of the way, that part that told him all the time that he was to broken. That he didn't deserve to be happy. But there was that other part, so full of kindness, love, and hope, that made her love the whole him. She had fought the battles and knew there would be more to come but it was all worth it to see him really truly smile or to hold his son in his son in his arms. She had loved him for a long time, and now that they were actually seeing each other, it seemed like a dream. She didn't see mostly the bad with flashes of good, no, now she saw him happy. And that made her happy, no matter how horrible she felt. _

"_Emily, I was so worried." he managed to choke out as he just stared into her eyes. It was starting to creep her out how intensely he was studying her, like he was scanning for the slightest imperfection. She begged her mouth to corporate when she spoke again. _

"_What happened?" Alleluia. She had managed to spit it out. Hotch's eyebrows shot up_

"_You don't remember?" Hotch asked unbelieving. She shook her head, eyes never leaving his._

"_If you tell me I'll probably remember…." she said softly and Hotch seemed to freeze…._

* * *

"_Do I tell her?" was the only coherent thought running through his head at the moment. There were undercurrents of love, confusion, and anger but that was the only formed thought in his mind. On one hand, he could never lie to her and she deserved to hear the truth but on the other, could he put her through that again? Make her relive what he was sure would rank in the worst times of her lives? He couldn't bare to see her in pain….. _

_He made his decision._

"_You were kidnapped Emily. You were held by an UnSub in a basement and he…." _

"_Spit it out Hotch, I want to know it all." It was in that moment he knew that no matter what they had ahead of them, he had made the right decision. _

"_Em," he said using her nickname and gripping her hand just a little tighter, "He tortured you. You were beaten within an inch of your life. The doctors say that there was internal bleeding and that you barely made it through surgery. Em? Do you remember?" He wanted her to remember the rest, if she could. That was all so personal, that even he felt like whatever happened down there it was up to her to decide how they would handle it. Her eyes widened and then closed. He let her sit there and knew that the memories were flooding back when her hand moved to her side. The brand._

"_You remember." It was a statement not a question. She nodded almost imperceptibly and he saw a tear build on her still closed eyes. He didn't speak just sat and tried to give her all his strength. _

"_How did you find me?" she asked and he accept the current way they were going to go about it. Ignore for now but with the option to talk about it later. He wouldn't push her now, she needed him to be there, solid and unquestioning. _

"_Garcia traced the last call. We came to you as soon as we can. I found you….. Do remember the needle?" He answered, asking the last part hesitantly. _

"_I remember him holding it and telling me what he planned to do. You know don't you? He was going to sew my lips shut. He must have knocked me out after that… Did he do it?" She said softly staring at wrists. He hadn't seen them before but he noticed that they were scabbed and bright red from the binding. He sighed and prepared to tell her what he had found. The picture that still haunted him, always ready to flood his vision. _

"_The needle was stuck through your lips." He expected he to cry or sob, but he realized that that wasn't Prentiss. Not at all. One lone tear fell down her face and a mask fell over her pale features. He moved slightly to try and get her attention. She looked up at him, eyes showing everything that her face masked. _

"_Emily, whatever happened, we'll get through it. I'll be here. I have to get the nurse, are you okay?" She nodded and he got up. He walked to the door, paused and turned back. He said nothing, just kissed her forehead and gave her one last small smile. He saw he face change ever so slightly and that smile he loved so much teased at her lips. As he turned and walked through the door he whispered his promise to himself, reassuring himself that they could do it._

"_Always."_


	9. Going Home

_This chapter is so late. I've been so busy getting back to school and I owe you all an extra long chap so I'll do my best!_

_Kennedy_

Today she was being discharged from the hospital. Three weeks and she was done. Thank God. This place was so fake and disposable, so artificial, and she couldn't wait to flop down on her own bed. There were flowers everywhere and the smell seemed to infuse onto her skin after the first week. It seemed like every day when she left her room to walk, the smell would linger around her. She had hated flowers but she had learned to love the smell over the time she had spent in her small room. Each bouquet was different and each one seemed like the people who loved her. There were pink tulips, tied with a pale yellow bow (JJ), A small bouquet of orchids (Rossi), pink and green Gerber Daises (Garcia), Daffodils (Morgan), Bamboo (Reid…), Tea Roses (Hotch), and a single red rose she had found on her pillow (Hotch again, at least she assumed since there had been no letter).

This was here family who loved her and had saved her. They had surrounded her with presents, stuffed animals, and those flowers. Symbols of their love and a promise to be there. She mocked herself when tears found there way into her eyes. Hotch came into the room right at that moment and she cursed his timing.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, rushing to her side. She was brushing away the tears and shaking her head. "Are you in pain? I know you want to go home but I can go get a nurse…" he tried.

"That's not it." She said still shaking her head.

"What can I do Em?" he asked, his heart seeming to be crushed by her pain. It pained her that she could do that to him; inflict an unintentional wound with ease.

"It's the flowers," she said eyes watery but tears no longer falling. He made a move to throw them away and she almost yelled. "Don't!" she took a breath and tried again. "Don't throw them away. I love them, they just… made me realize something." She said quietly. Hotch was back to her side within seconds.

"Do you care if I ask what?" he asked, slightly unnerved by her odd mood. She shook her head and took another deep breath.

"I have a family." It was a whisper. As if it was such a new idea that it could be crushed. It was a fresh sprout that wasn't sure where to grow just yet and Hotch felt his heart ache just a little for her, but only a little. Emily hated pity, but that was no doubt what he felt. Pity for the young girl who had just wanted to fit in. Pity for the lonely women who didn't know the happiness of a solid family. He wiped it away and laid it in the back of his mind to be confronted and sorted through later. He pulled her into a hug, embracing her for what seemed like the hundredth time to Emily. But he couldn't help himself. He had to make sure she was real. She clung to him and it was just enough reassurance. She was there, in his arms again.

"Come on," he said, "Let's go home."

He must have had a sixth sense that told him she wanted to go home to her place. They had been living at his house with Jack, but she had always kept her apartment. Not that she didn't love living there and waking up to the Hotchner boys every morning, it was just that she needed to keep a place she could call hers. Somewhere that she could escape to. As they pulled up at her building Hotch hopped out of the car and briskly walked around the car. She was already halfway out when she felt his hand at her waist.

"You need any help?" he asked looking around her parking lot and not making eye contact. She recognized what he was doing easily: Surveying for threats. She shook her head because she knew that if she spoke it would give away the pain. She stood tall as she slammed the door and began to walk. She was in so much pain that she felt lightheaded but there was no way she was showing it. She trudged to the elevator and pressed the button. Hotch was behind her, still surveying. It took her a minute to remember why through the haze of her current pain. Oh, yes. They still hadn't caught him. The elevator dinged and she stepped on. As she listened to the cheap music, she let it fill her head and banish all the thoughts of him. She had enough to deal with.

She rummaged around through her purse looking for her keys. Just as she touched them she found the Hershey's Kiss she'd been saving and pulled that out with the full key chain. She unwrapped the kiss with one hand in a practiced ease and popped it into her mouth. Hotch's mouth upturned and he smiled at her for what seemed like the first time in a decade.

"How long has that in there?" he asked playfully and she shrugged her shoulders, ignoring the pain to see that smile. Emily turned the key in the lock and just about had a heart attack as she walked in.

"Surprise!" Came a chorus of voices as the door swung open. There in her apartment was her family. Garcia rushed up and scooped her into a hug.

"We missed you so much Emily!" she said stepping back and taking in her friends slightly dishelved, just-out-of-the-hospital appearance before adding "Hun…. Emergency Fashion Saviors required." Garcia whisked her away and JJ followed, shaking her head behind them. There was a blend of "Hey!" and "Come on Baby Girl" directed at there backs but they kept walking. First door on the right they opened and took their places. Emily sat in front of her vanity, JJ on her right, Garcia on her left, staring at just how bad she looked. Garcia was right. She was a complete and utter mess.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. What to do, What to do?" Garcia pondered behind her and JJ had already located her foundation. She let herself be tended to and sat still. She remembered how this whole ritual had started. The first time she had gone out with them, they had come to pick her up and taken one look up and down and ushered her back inside. Thus began, the adventures of the Emergency Fashion Saviors. JJ applied her make-up tastefully and Garcia went with a high bun. They floated together to the closet and picked out her most comfortable black blouse.

"Do we need to worry about sexy underwear?" Garcia asked, picking lint off the shirt.

JJ covered her eyes with her hands and Emily blushed before bursting out laughing.

"No, Garcia. No." She couldn't believe that had surprised her and when Garcia shrugged and continued to pick lint while handing it to her, she realized how much she had missed her girlfriends. She stood and wobbled slightly as she took off her T-shirt and slipped on the blouse. She admired her reflection in the mirror and laughed again as JJ let out a low whistle. She turned around and wrapped her arms around her two best friends.

"Thank You." She choked out.

"Don't cry Em, it'll ruin your make-up." Garcia said, but as they pulled back she saw Garcia was on the verge to. They all wiped there eyes and Emily linked arms with her sisters.

"Let's go party."


	10. Secrets I Never Told You

_Late Late Late. Writer's Block sucks. Forgive me, hopefully __ I know I lose readers when I take so long to update and I hope once again that a long chapter will make up for it. Hope you enjoy!_

_Kennedy_

As she entered the living room, Emily suddenly felt uncomfortable. She had the distinct feeling that someone was watching her. When she looked up, she saw that it was the whole room and immediately blushed slightly. After she gave it a little thought, she realized who she was around. "Yeah, I can be myself." She thought and shed the unusual shyness. She mentally turned on her smoldering eyes and looked up through her eye lashes at Hotch. Morgan let out a low whistle and as JJ walked by Rossi she picked his chin up off the floor. Hotch's eyes were wide and she threw Garcia a thumbs up behind her back before doing her best to glide across the room. She stumbled once, but turned that into a move into Hotch's lap. Garcia had picked the only dress that would cover absolutely everything, and she had to admit she looked good. Even if she had never really liked the skin tight long-sleeved black dress, the look on Hotch's face was well worth it. He's never seen _this_ before.

"Emily," he whispered, "Are you ready for this?" She could see that his eyes had grown concerned and she knew that this came with Hotch, and she had accepted it.

"Of course." She said grinning and burying her pain. She saw his disbelief in his eyes and smiled bigger. He shrugged and kissed her forehead.

"Okay."

Everyone had gone home and Emily was finally getting the chance to relax in her house. She was cuddled up on her sofa, beneath her favorite blanket with a book that she was struggling to find interest in. Before she had been taken she had been completely immersed but now her mind wondered and she couldn't force herself to keep staring at the pages. She studied the skyline through her window and the thought that had been haunting her returned. Somewhere, he was out there. Somewhere.

"He's still out there." She whispered to the window, not turning around, or even sure Hotch heard her. She heard the light sound of footsteps across her floor and still she didn't turn from the window to look at him, knowing that pity would coat his face. "Anywhere, Hotch. He could come back for me at any time. We don't even know why he took me." The outside lights twinkled and she touched the cool glass. There was silence. Emily sat for a while with him behind her before she realized. Realized that Hotch would have spoken; no doubt, he would have comforted her. Slowly she turned her head.

"Looks to me like he is." The voice smirked.

He was scrubbing dishes when he heard her scream. He dropped the plate he was scrubbing and ran as fast as he could to the living room where she had been sitting. His heart was pounding and he could feel adrenaline shooting through his veins. As he rounded the corner he saw her. And him. Her eyes were wide and she looked to him with such hope that in moment he wanted nothing more than to crumble. Because in that moment, he knew that yet again he had failed her.

"Let her go!" he yelled pulling his gun from his ankle. He hadn't taken off that holster since she had been kidnapped..

"Did that work the first time Aaron?" the voice said shaking his head as he continued to bind her wrists.

"Don't move or I'll shoot!" he yelled, voice cracking. The man laughed as he moved the knife into view.

"Aaron, I wouldn't want to have to slit her throat! That would be so unreasonably messy. So unnecessary. Don't you agree?" He asked, twisting the knife slowly next to her neck. Emily's eyes were closed now and he couldn't see the tears that were building in them. Hotch prayed silently that someone had forgotten something. Anything, just someone please come back.

"No. We wouldn't want that. What do you want?" he asked trying to keep his voice even this time.

"The truth Aaron. I want her to tell you the truth." There was anger bubbling into his words. He was furious.

"What do you mean?" he asked hesitantly. He hadn't asked her yet, he was waiting for her to come to him and he would never invade by reading her charts. He knew how he had found her, but he hadn't asked more.

"Ask her." He said tightening his grip on her neck and pulling the knife closer.

"What's he talking about Emily?" He tried to apologize with his eyes for even asking, but her eyes remained closed. "Em, you can tell me. We have to get out of this." He prodded softly. It was painful, he knew, but he had a feeling that it was vital to them surviving.

"Awww. Isn't that sweet. Tell him!" he screamed pulling the knife into her throat just enough to allow a trickle of blood to escape. She spoke with her eyes closed and began, voice just loud enough to be heard.

"That's not all that happened."

She stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. It seemed like just saying that had drained her of her energy.

"That's not all that happened." She repeated and it was clear to him she was still trying to convince herself just as much him. "He beat me." It was a single sentence yet it made Hotch close his eyes and take a breath. He had known that but this was wrong. She should have been able to tell him when she wanted, not when it was forced out of her. She allowed a tear to roll down her face and he braced himself for more. "Hotch I was pregnant." She wouldn't look up at him as he realized exactly what she had said. Was.

"Hotch, I didn't know until I woke up in the hospital. The doctor told me that I had lost my baby and I had no clue. Hotch, I have been trying to figure out what to do. How to tell you…." Her voice trailed off and the tears fell freely. He was felt so many emotions in that single second. He was angry first, then realized there was nothing she could have done, and then sadness, he knew how much she wanted a baby now, and it had been his, and then love. He would have loved that child and he loved Emily. The last and most deadly of his emotions was sheer hatred. It was so sudden and so incredibly strong that it almost became something tangible. He took two steps forward,

"Don't Move!" he yelled before adding an explanation. "I really don't want to clean this up."

Words flew through his brain at top speed but one stuck.

Sociopath.

_So…. I'm a junkie for cliffhanger endings and I noticed that I get more reviews, so it seemed like the best option. I'm always looking for ideas and input if anything came to mind!_


	11. Garcia, Morgan, and Private Time

Emily waited. Her breath held, unsure of what to do. She could feel the cool metal against her neck. How could they get out of this? She never thought he would come back, at least not like this. She couldn't bring herself to look Hotch in the eye, she felt like she had betrayed him. Let him down by not telling him as soon as she knew. How do you tell someone something like that, when you yourself can even handle it? The look on his face had been devastating. His gun was drawn but she knew he would never shoot. What she considered one of his flaws, he would never harm her. Not even to get an UnSub.

"I'm sorry." She said voice barely above a whimper. This wasn't her at all; broken and left with the ruins of her former self. He had stolen a part of her in that basement, taken part of her soul. It was then she stopped feeling sorry for herself. It was then she got angry. She would wonder later if Hotch saw it, the change in her demeanor that letter to her next action.

"Emily it's not your fault." He said, eyes focused on the voice that suddenly had a face. "I don't blame you for not telling me. I know you would've told me eventually. It's not up to me, that was up to you."

Then why wasn't he looking at her.

Why couldn't he bring himself to look into her eyes instead of just looking at the man who held her captive? It didn't matter though because she had the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind when the door burst open. A slightly intoxicated Garcia opened her front door, smiling, oblivious for seconds before she stopped abruptly.

"What….." It was an open ended statement as she looked to Hotch for some clarification. Hotch could tell who it was even before she spoke, the heavy scent of her perfume floating ten feet in front of her. But before he could respond another familiar voice came from the hall outside Emily's apartment.

"They home Baby Girl? I told you I thought that they probably went over to Hotch's for some _private_ time…" his voice trailed off just as hers had when he stepped into the apartment. His hand flew to his gun.

"Don't move." It was a command aimed at Morgan and he stopped hand gripping his holster tightly.

"What's going on Hotch?" Morgan asked staring at Emily and the seemingly broken look on her face.

"It's him." It was almost a sigh, but Hotch heard an edge in her voice. Something was spinning through her brain.

"What a party we have now… What to do, What to do? It seems that I can't escape but poor Emily will die if I do. What a predicament… Do you have any ideas Agent Hotchner?"

"If you harm her, I guarantee you won't live another day."

"Then what to do? You wouldn't let me escape? It's up to you Agent. What matters more? Catching me, or saving her?" he asked nodding his head at Emily. As Hotch looked at her he felt his heart crack once more. The man threw back his head in a full body laugh. "True Love…"

Emily saw her chance.

Her movement was fast. She slammed her body as hard as she could with everything still healing into his side and away from the knife. She made sure that her elbow hit its target right beneath his belt. They both fell back and Hotch flew across the room. She fought hard and rolled out from his grip within seconds.

"Don't move." Morgan had come to Hotch's side and they held him at gunpoint. The man moved to throw the knife and Hotch didn't hesitate. He shot him from 2 feet away, a clean shot to his leg. They needed him alive. They needed the why. Morgan looked at him, questioning as to whether or not he should help the figure cringing on the floor. He looked to Emily and nodded. Hotch covered the distance to Prentiss in a few short steps.

"You alright?" He knew it wasn't the right question but asked it anyway. He watched as she nodded and smiled as the UnSub moaned some incoherent cuss words.

"You know that was pretty genius, right?" She looked up and pulled him into a crushing kiss. He kissed back before pulling up for air. "What I do to deserve that?" he asked unable to keep the grin off his face. At least part of his Prentiss was back. She shrugged and wiped a smidge of lipstick of his lip.

"For being my knight when I thought I didn't need one. For being there." She got up slowly and when he tried to help her she gave him a pointed look; _I just congratulated you on NOT smothering me._ He shook his head and put his hands above his head. Garcia coughed behind him and he turned around quickly.

"Can I call 911 now?" she asked smiling as uncharacteristic Hotchner blush crept up his cheeks.

The police had arrived and were the process of taking statements and escorting the suspect out. When Hotch finished his interview he saw Morgan waiting for Garcia and strolled over to talk with his younger coworker.

"Morgan," he said getting the man's attention, "_Private time_, Eh?"


	12. The Team Interogates

So now the team knew. Before everyone had there suspicions, but now, with a few phone calls from Garcia, everyone was one hundred percent sure. That was all Emily could think of as she and Hotch boarded the elevator bound for the BAU. As she watched the numbers light up on top of the elevator she could feel his gaze. She felt her irritation building. It seemed like every time she looked at him, he was studying her.

"Hotch, I'm not going to disappear." She rolled her eyes as she turned toward him.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he asked softly. He readily expected her to retaliate, but he needed to ask. And she did, she had had it with the babying.

"Hotch. I. Am. Fine." She was tired of her being breakable in everyone's eyes. She was not, and never had been breakable and it irritated her that her family was convinced she would.

"What are we gonna do about the team?" He asked, this time intently studying the rising numbers. "What?" she thought. "What the hell?" he had done his very best to avoid the subject and he chose NOW to make a statement. Men. The bell dinged to signal their arrival and she sighed.

"We tell them the truth. It's what they deserve." She put on her movie star smile as she stepped out of the elevator and greeted everyone she saw. She laughed and joked, everything was okay with Emily Prentiss, that much was clear to the general public. But Hotch saw the slight limp and the way she only gestured with one hand, but most of all he saw what no one else could. Actually, it wasn't what he saw, but more what he didn't. The twinkle in her eye, the bounce in her step. That was what most people didn't notice about her the easy radiance, but he could see that today it was forced. Anyone of his team could tell that she was putting on a show, and he felt a pang of guilt. Honesty, in his brain, it was his fault. He hadn't been there to protect her, save her from the darkness. But that was in the past, he reminded himself, even if it didn't help much. The doors had started to close before he remembered to step out. He had been caught up in watching her, because even if it was fake now, Emily was enchanting.

The team was up in the conference room, taking a break from the never ending paper work after what they simply called "Em's case". They didn't discuss it much after the first few days, they comforted her and protected her from the question, but they had made a decision. Everything regarding the basement would stay within the family. Hotch had found it odd that Garcia had been the one to stress this but shrugged it off. A sister protecting a sister. He heard his phone ring in the other room and quietly excusing himself, went to pick it up. Jack was suppose to call. AS soon as Hotch left a sort of silence fell over the room and she suddenly had a bad gut feeling. She was about to ask what was going on when the ever blunt Penelope Garcia dropped a bomb.

"So tell me Emily, Is he good in bed?"

Reid started choking on his mouthful of noodles and Morgan and JJ lost it laughing. Rossi's eyes got wide and a smug sort of grin crossed his face. Emily couldn't move. Oh my god. Had Garcia really just asked her that?

"Pardon me?" Emily managed to choke out.

"You heard me right sister. I've always wondered, and know that I know someone with first hand knowledge, I just had to ask." She stated matter-of-factly, pushing up her glasses and flashing Emily a Cheshire Cat grin. JJ had tears in her eyes and Morgan paused only long enough to add to her embarrassment.

"Come on Princess." He spit out between laughs. Lovely. Just Lovely.

"I am not telling you about me and Hotch's sex life!" she almost yelled and quickly covered head with her hands. The whole bureau had probably heard that.

"Ah ha! So there is a sex life. Good to know, do I need to delete any video footage?" She asked. Emily felt her cheeks go up in flames. Garcia was on a roll, and this needed to end. All she could do was shake her head. That minute was when Hotch decided to waltz back in to the room, a smile plastered on his face.

"What about you Boss Man? Is Miss Emily telling me the truth? Any video footage I need to delete?" Hotch's smile fell off his face. Mortification was the only word to describe it. Emily shot him a look and the message was clear. "HELP ME." He shrugged.

"Garcia, I don't think that's appropriate conversation." It was the best stern voice he could muster at the current moment. He wanted Garcia to fall for it. He might have even prayed just a little that Garcia would far back into her subordinate role, even if she _was_ on a steadily building rampage. He was wrong.

"Really sir?" She mocked. "You gave me permission the second you made out with your girlfriend." Girlfriend was delivered complete with a pointed finger at Emily. He was in deep. Screwed to be absolutely truthful, and he was well aware. He took a second to reason it out. When someone you trusted backed you into a corner, a family member really, what do you do? He wasn't exactly sure so he went with what Emily had said. Honesty.

"Well, there was this one time…" he began, rubbing his neck. A pen came flying in his direction and hit him square in the jaw. He looked up to find the entire team practically on the floor except for Emily. Emily was not laughing, she was blushing. And Emily Prentiss did not blush. He had never received a death stare from Prentiss before, but that was the only way he could define it.

All Emily could do was stare. In the last minute, she had seriously digressed. She had admitted to a sex life with her superior, had an office tryst revealed, and thrown a pen. These was what they did to her, and yet these were the people she loved the most. It made no sense. They made her smile, made her laugh, but today Emily wanted only one thing:

To _strangle_ herself one Penelope Garcia.


	13. Panic

After receiving a steady stream of jokes all day, Emily finally made it to her car, Hotch directly behind her.

"Emily, are you going to talk to me?" Hotch asked for the millionth time that day. It didn't take much effort for her to pull off the cold shoulder, and since Hotch's little bout of honesty in front of the team, she was exercising her skill. She was done with the pleading, it needed to stop.

"Would you talk to me? Had I said something like _that _in front of our entire team?" She had turned on her heels and he was now staring into her eyes realizing just how much he was in trouble. He flashed a smile and saw her soften just a little bit. Thank god for dimples. "And I suppose you have a well thought out excuse?" she sighed turning to get into the car. He grabbed her wrist to pull him back and into his arms. She fought against him, pulling hard to get away. He held on confused, and completely unaware of the thoughts running through her mind.

_She was back in the darkness, her hands were being tied behind her and she struggled with what little energy she had. Her head was pounding and she could feel his weight on top of her and he tied the final knot silently._

She pulled harder, and Hotch let go. He stood bewildered as she fell against the car. Slowly she slipped down to ground level before shooting up again. She turned around in haste and swung at Hotch with everything she had. The blow connected with his right eye but he didn't feel all that much pain. All he was worried about was Emily.

"Emily, what's going on?" he asked trying to put his hand on her shoulders. She knocked them away and took off running across the parking lot.

_She had managed to get her hands somehow unbound and fight back. It felt more satisfying than anything else in her life when her hand connected with his jaw. As he held his jaw and cursed at her, she spotted an escape. She took off, not wasting a second, knowing it could easily be her last._

Hotch took off after her. He couldn't let her go, whatever was going on in Emily Prentiss' brain was not normal and he knew that she could hurt herself and others if he didn't get her back to reality. As he sprinted, slowly catching up with her he saw her collapse in front of him.

"Emily!" he yelled and was at her side in seconds. She was murmuring quietly and he could see blood coming from a few large scrapes along her hands from the fall. He tried to wipe away her tears, but she seemed to have an endless supply. "Emily," he pleaded, "It's me. Come back, your all right, he doesn't have you now." He tried to comfort her but all he succeeded in doing was making her scream. He felt tears in his own eyes as she threw her head back and his name flew from her lips.

"Hotch! Hotch!" It chilled him how severely horrified her voice was. He knew that she was not here with him; her mind was back in the basement. After those she quieted back to the murmurs and continued to try and shush her as he cradled her in his arms. "Emily, come back. You're safe. I'm here." He whispered. He managed to make out a few of her words.

"No… not here…alone…left me…" he let the tears flow freely now, there was no use in trying to keep the damn from breaking.

"Shh, Emily I'm here I promise." It was all he could think of to quiet her fears. He felt her shake her head vigorously.

"No…. you aren't here…. Why did you leave me? I'm all alone." Tears streaming down his face unchecked, he picked Emily up into his arms. He felt her body tense and he knew he had to calm her if they were going to make it back inside. He whispered softly in her ear and her body eased. She curled up into him and fell asleep. He carried her into the main office of the Bureau and did his absolute best to ignore the stares. He shot out a glare every time he could muster one. Emily needed not only him but his team. He could call Jessica and ask her to bring Jack by if that's hat he needed. He recognized the symptoms; Emily had just had a flashback. After Foyet, they had struck him twice and the first time he put a hole in the wall. He thanked God every day that his little boy wasn't there to see his father crumble. As he waited for the elevator he could practically read the minds of the people around him.

_Why is Agent Hotchner carrying Agent Prentiss?_

_Did she hit him?_

_Is she really sleeping?_

_I knew they were sleeping together! _

He knew that last one because he had been fighting off that rumor for some time now. It was no one's business but his and Emily's and he remained firm in that idea. His team was a different story. They were almost part of the two of them so it had been more than difficult to try and keep it secret. He had felt relieved when it finally came out today. Emily talked in her sleep as he stepped onto the elevator and glared at the entire room. The doors closed and he pulled Emily closer to him and kissed the top of her head. He had survived his first flashback alone and lost, and he knew from the second time that having someone else there made a world of difference. She was back to breathing normally so he knew that she didn't need immediate medical attention. His arms were growing heavy but he refused to set her down or wake her up. The door opened onto the BAU floor and he saw Morgan leaving for the day and called to him.

"Morgan." It was a simple command, but at the tone Morgan immediately turned around. Seeing Emily in his arms Derrick ran to open the door.

"What happened Hotch? When she left you guys were fine." Morgan asked worried before running ahead to grab JJ and Reid. Hotch carried her up to his office and Dave poked his head out, curious to all the commotion

"What the hell?" Rossi asked, rushing to his side. Hotch shook his head at the door. Rossi opened it quickly and stood in the doorway. Hotch walked through the still dark office and layed her done with such gentleness that Rossi had to turn away. He couldn't fight the feeling that this was none of his business. This was something that should be kept within the family and he turned around to see the others. He held them back until he heard the familiar click of Hotch turning his lamp on and his footsteps headed toward the door. Dave looked to Hotch, this was his to explain.

"She had a flashback." It was a statement meant for their ears only and they nodded their heads together.

"Is she okay?" It was Reid's quiet voice that found the power to speak in the silence that followed the nodding. He was a lost sheep, stranded and in desperate need of his Mother, her being the surrogate sleeping in the other room. Hotch sighed and tried to tell his team everything in one statement.

"No," he decided simply shaking his head, "But she will be."


	14. Can Love Heal?

_**A/N: **_**Hey!!! I just wanted to thank all my reviewers, you guys keep me going! **** I appreciate everything I hear and I thought I might also warn you that this chapter is a little dark, its more like when she was actually kidnapped. As always, flashbacks/ dreams are in italics. Thanks for reading!**

**-Kennedy**

_He was kicking her. Slamming his boots into her sides, not caring how badly she was hurt. Suddenly she felt it, something leave her, as if she was being abandoned. _

"_No!" she screamed, realizing that he was killing her child. She hadn't known it when it was happening but here she knew._

"_No! You can't take her away from me!" Emily screamed as loud as she could, shrieking as the pain and sense of emptiness continued. A voice came into the room and seemed out of place._

"_Emily!" It was Aaron's voice. Loud and yet distant; like he was screaming through an old telephone. She heard this over and over again but all she could focus on was the loss that seemed to be coursing through her veins. The baby was dying. Slowly, with each kick she felt the life inside of her fade. Hell had never seemed more real._

Emily awoke screaming, tossing and throwing her body sharply.

"Emily! It's okay, it was just a nightmare. I'm here." She heard Hotch say as hands came up to her shoulders. She was shaking and tears were streaming down her face with no signs of stopping. She couldn't manage to speak only curl up into herself and refuse any caring touch he gave her. At this moment, all he represented to her was the baby, her dead child. It was his. They could have had a family, "Or", she thought correcting herself, "_I_ could have had a family." Aaron had Jack and always would. She loved that little boy more than he would ever know, but her place was not guaranteed. It could be taken, just as this child had been taken from her.

"Emily," he said quietly, stroking soft circles on her back, "Talk to me." He needed to believe that she was still alive, still really and truly present in his life. After the shrieking, he wasn't sure that what was lying on his couch was a whole woman. Her sobs quieted as he let her slowly calm down. It was important, he knew to let her process without interruption. He was waiting for the questions that he knew were coming. He didn't have to wait long.

"What happened? How did I get here?" She was quickly wiping her eyes and pulling her hair out of her eyes when a thought popped into her mind unbidden. "My mother would be ashamed." And just like that, she had another slap in the face. Emily stopped her hand in mid motion. This was her good little girl training kicking in and she fought it hard as she pulled her hand down to her lap. She braced for the next round of tears and grasped Hotch's hand.

"Emily, I think you had a flashback in the parking garage. Do you remember that?" He asked, continuing the circles with the hand not clutched in hers. She shrugged and gripped his had harder.

"The emotions, yes. The actual incident, no." She sighed.

Hotch couldn't bear to see her like this, crumpled, lost and just utterly shattered. Those were the only words he could muster to describe this Prentiss. She was just a pile of shards of what she used to be, the same thing, but in a state no one could recognize. She would have to pick up the pieces if she was going to get through this and by God, he was gonna be the glue. When ever she needed him, he would drop anything and everything. Jack would always be number one, but now a days, Emily was such a big part of both there lives, he knew Jack would be completely on board with doing anything for "his" Emmy. "We can make it." He silently told her. It didn't seem to help. He pulled her into a hug and felt her relax, if only slightly.

"Let's go home." It was a whisper, barely audible. Hotch nodded into her shoulder. Calmly, he got up and grabbed her purse and coat. He didn't try to judge her, or force her into anything, merely just offered his hand. Wiping the last of her tears away, Emily took it let him lead her to the door. Just when she didn't want it, but truly needed it, here was her knight in shining armor.

Through the window, an inquisitive eye watched the entire exchange. They loved each other, of that there was no doubt, but something gave the person pause. What if Emily's condition affected the entire team? The team had to function at there very best to do what they did and maybe, they thought, maybe this would be bad for them. They all cared so much for both parties involved, what if it made there work suffer? There careers? What would happen to the team from here on out? "We take care of our own." The person thought. They always had, and always would. Whether it be by lying for them, or more often then not, ignoring the flaws it had always gone on in the BAU. But. What if this time the agent was just a little to broken? What if this time they couldn't bounce back?

They left in a hurry, they were late to pick up Jack, and everyone needed to get some sleep in case they got called out. Emily received a few hugs and couldn't help the feeling she was drowning in pity, but she ignored her irritation. These people loved her and she owed them enough to let them say what they needed to her. They got into the car successfully this time and headed to Jessica's.

"What did you dream about?" Hotch asked in the thick silence in the car. "You don't have to tell me, I just want to make it better in whatever way I can." He added as an after thought.

Emily stared out the window, eyes focusing on something no one else could see. "Do you really want to know?" She asked, eyes never looking at him.

"Emily, I want to do everything I can." He stopped and took a breath, "So yes, I want to know."

""I was back in the basement and he was kicking me again. It kept happening, over and over. I felt his boot leave bruises and that sickening helplessness was back except this time it was worth. Aaron, I felt the baby dying. With every kick she faded a little more, and it was my fault. All I could do was lay there and let that man kill my baby." She stopped here and took a breath; deep and labored. She was fighting to finish, they both needed that. Emily grabbed his hand and studied there interlocking fingers intensely. Tears were coming back but she forced herself into finishing the thought.

"And Aaron. I'm sorry, but I don't know if you can make it better."


	15. Enough

As they pulled up to Jessica's, all of the rest of the day was set aside. This was Jack time and he didn't need to know about any of the hurt, he had enough to deal with on his own. Emily got out slowly preparing herself. Jack deserved one hundred percent of her, only to Aaron did she let the truth be known. As if in a trance she walked to the door. She was surprised to feel a warmth envelope her as Hotch's hand slid into hers. She looked into his eyes; deep, dark, bottomless, and at the current moment offering her all the strength he could spare. A broken smile passed her lips. Maybe….

"Daddy! Emmy!" They heard Jack shout as he raced across the porch and into their legs. They both laughed, light, and slightly forced. "I missed you!" the little boy shouted even though he was standing right next to them. He held out his hands and Emily bit her lip and pulled him up into her arms.

"We missed you too." She said smiling at the grin on his face. She leaned down to his face and lightly butterfly kissed his nose, their usual unique greeting. Bubbling with excitement and sheer happiness he was exactly what she needed. "Say bye to Aunt Jessica!" she reminded him, and the whole family waved as they walked back to the SUV. After Emily set him down, Hotch buckled him up and they headed home. Jack babbled in the back seat about his day and they both listened intently. Suddenly Jack took a serious tone.

"Daddy, Emmy, I have somethin' I need to talk to you about." They both exchanged a look. Ever since his best friend Tommy had got him interested, Jack was fascinated by how babies are made. What an interesting trip to the grocery store that had made for.

"Go ahead Jack." Hotch said after a second of mentally preparing himself for the stork story.

"Daddy do you love Emmy?" Emily choked on the water that she had been drinking and Hotch almost swerved off the road. The question caught them both off guard.

"Yes Jack, I love Emily very much." Emily smiled at him, hand still firmly grasped in his.

"Emmy, do you love Daddy and me?" Jack asked quieter this time. This one he didn't know her answer.

"More than anything else in the world." She whispered. Suddenly tears were threatening again. There was a small click from the back seat and Jack's head popped up between them. He planted a large sloppy kiss on Emily's face.

"Good, 'cause I was gonna be really sad if you didn't love me back." He stated matter-of-factly, plopping down onto his seat once more. Emily wiped her eyes but not before Jack saw them. "Did I make you sad Emmy? I didn't want to make you sad." He said racked with four-year old's worry. She shook her head.

"Jack, you didn't make me sad, you made me happy. Just like you always do." She replied laughing and reaching back to squeeze his leg in reassurance. Jack smiled confidently.

"So back to the impo'tant stuff. Daddy, when are you gonna ask Emmy to marry you?" Hotch didn't flinch even though Emily choked on the water again. You think she'd learn that that probably wasn't a good idea around his son.

"Jack grab my second coat from the trunk." He said, steering into the park a few blocks down from his house. It was one of Jack's favorite places, and when they weren't working a case they spend most days there. He ran around to unbuckle Jack before Emily was even out of the car. He threw him on his shoulders and grabbed the ring box from his coat pocket. Emily stood next to her door looking slightly dumbfounded. Hotch grabbed her hand and they walked to the bench that they had come to think of as their own. Emily sat slowly, careful to try and avoid excessive pain. When she did sit, Hotch kneeled down in front of her, Jack still on his back looking over. He pulled out the box and watched her face. It was confused then amazed.

"Emily Prentiss, will you marry us?" He asked, flicking open the box to reveal the ring. Tiny sapphires framed a small diamond, and she sat in shock for a few moments. That didn't last long with Jack there.

"Say yes Silly!" he yelled.

"Yes!" She yelled back to both of them. The first true smile he had seen since this whole thing began spread across her lips. In that moment, none of the pain was evident in her face, none of the scars visible. All Aaron Hotchner could see was sheer, unfiltered joy. If possible, he fell even more in love with her as her eyes twinkled and she slipped on the ring. This was the women who understood him, the woman who cared, the women he loved, and wanted to love, for the rest of his life. Emily was his single ray of sunlight. She had pulled him back from the edge, and he would die before he let the darkness swallow her. They could survive this. He had never been more sure of anything in his entire life. He kissed her softly and looked into her eyes. All had been forgotten for a split second. He realized then that he would gladly spend everyday of his life helping her forget, helping her heal. Emily Prentiss was broken, not gone. And if she needed them, he and Jack would stand beside her through it all, slowly gluing the pieces back together. No, they weren't the typical family, but they loved each other. That was all they needed. Love was enough.


	16. Tear by Tear

"Keep your faith in all beautiful things; in the sun when it is hidden, in the Spring when it is gone."

**Roy R. Gilson**

They made their way home after the proposal, Jack happily discussing all that it could mean. "And Emmy, You could come over more!" he said before his first silence in 20 minutes. Both the future Mr. and Mrs. Hotchner turned around.

"What it is Jack?" he asked shaking his head at the shocked face of his son.

"Daddy…. She could _live_ with us! Like all the time!" He said dramatically. Emily laughed and scooped him up into his arms.

"Jack, if you say its okay, I would love to live with you guys." she said tickling his sides while he sat on her hip.

"Are you kidding? Dad's cool, but your awesome!" he shouted throwing his hands up in the air for emphasis.

"Good to know were I stand, Bud." Hotch said looking at his son with mock disappointment. Jack reached over and wrapped his arms around his dad's neck and hopped with some help to his hip. He stuck his finger right on Hotch's nose and looked right into his eyes.

"Daddy. I will always love you. Emmy's new, so I'm not used to lovin' her, but I'm used to lovin' you. I think I loved you since I was born." He said chastising his father. Hotch blocked the tears and kissed his little boy's nose.

"I love you too." He said as he laced his fingers with Emily's.

_A flash of metal, and the boots dug into her side. It was a steady stream of kicks and she curled up tight. She had to protect the baby. After only what seemed to be a few minutes, they stopped. This had never happened before. She turned her head cautiously moving on the cold concrete, he could be back any second. She heard something fall in the dark corner and she scooted away thinking he had never left. Emily watched a figure emerge from the dark, slowly walking into the little light. It was Jack._

"_Jack! Get out of here!" she screamed. His head was down, but he shook it. "Jack! Run!" The little boy looked up and her heart stopped. There, glistening in the few beams of light was the needle stuck through his lips. She sobbed as arms pulled him back into the dark. His eyes were seared into her soul, vacant caverns of hopelessness; silently pleading and blaming her._

"_Why did you let him hurt me Emmy?"_

"Emily! Wake up!" She was screaming and rolled in on herself. He touched her and the screams got even louder. He had to wake her from whatever nightmare she was raging against and soon. This one seemed to be the worst he had seen. "Emily!" He yelled, shaking her until her eyes flung open. Her terror was crystal clear for a split second before he felt her fist connect with his cheekbone. He flew backwards against the headboard banging his shoulder hard. He pulled himself back up in seconds to find her crying hard on her side of the bed.

"I'm sorry Aaron…. I didn't mean to." She said trying to wipe the tears away. He crawled across the bed and pulled her into his arms. She shook in his arms, trying to quiet the sobs. He bent over her face and lightly kissed her tear tracks all the way up to her closed eyelids. When she opened her eyes they were nose to nose. His brown eyes weren't a mask anymore. Concern, etched with love was evident on his face. This man generally cared about her. Not because of how she looked, or who her mother was, but who she really was. In her state it almost made her start crying again.

"Shhh…" He whispered. "It was just a dream. I'm here." She hugged him tight but pulled back quickly.

"I need to go see Jack." She said softly. It surprised him momentarily, but he then realized that she must have fallen victim to the same pattern of nightmare that most of his followed. Jack, hurt or dying, him unable to save him. He pulled her by the hand up to her feet and steadied her still slightly shaking form. They crept through the hallways, light steps as not to wake the little boy. She wrapped her fingers around the knob and turned as quietly as she could. The room was silent and in that she found some peace. This room was were she stood, not there. Not in the basement. The lights from Jack's fish nightlight danced across the ceiling. Red, Blue, Green. Red, Blue, Green. The pattern repeated over and over, a bright reminder of the bubbly child sleeping beneath it. Hesitantly she took a step into the room; unsure of what exactly she was doing, but feeling compelled to do so. Hotch stayed at the door, recognizing this was not his ritual to fulfill. She crossed to his bed and kneeled beside it. Jack was wrapped up tight in the blanket and as soon she stroked his head, little eyes popped open.

"What happened Emmy?" He whispered, obviously scared. She continued to stroke his soft hair and smiled.

"I just had a nightmare. I'll be fine." Jack nodded.

"I'm gonna help, okay? We are gonna make you fine together." He said nodding softly, unsure and looking for some support.

"Yes Jack. We'll make me okay together." She promised, kissing his forehead and moving to the door.

"Emmy?" She turned back around.

"Yes Jack?" She asked patiently.

"I'm glad you got to be my new Mommy. Love you."

"I love you too Jack." She whispered. This time, the tears fell unchecked, each one a healing stitch. Her heart was slowly being sewn back together, piece by piece, tear by tear.


	17. Sunshine

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.  
**Judy Garland**

She woke up in his arms, warm and blissfully numb. Nothing hurt. He was still asleep, but not for long. She knew from experience that Aaron never slept later than 8:00 unless he was severely ill. For the few moments she was alone she let the silence envelop her, and calm her. God knows she needed some peace, and Emily had always loved early mornings. There was something about the first rays of sunshine she had loved since she was a child. Maybe it was that they banished darkness. Maybe it was that they were always there, never leaving her for a foreign country or another banquet. But mostly, it was that they just simply existed. It was as if the new day, the new light, was like God making good on a promise. Every night she could go to sleep knowing that no matter what, the day would come. No one could still that knowledge from her. No UnSub could crawl into her brain and steal this little tidbit of information, and that made it better than most things in her world. A soft smile passed her lips as she felt Hotch wake up beside her. The moment faded into something just as good, if not better.

"Morning Em."

"Daddy!" Jack yelled. "Daddy, look what Aunt Pennie helped me make!!!" Jack rushed into Hotch's office just as he was signing his last report. He grinned. What had Garcia let his son do now? She was always taking him to the zoo, movies, and skating rink whenever he would let her. She loved his little boy and the amount he got spoiled while in her care made Hotch feel slightly inferior, but he quickly reminded himself he was the dad. He couldn't always do what Jack wanted, it came with the territory.

"Whatcha got buddy?" He said pulling his son into his lap. Jack anxiously held up his gift and bit his lip in anticipation. Hotch took it, confused, but still smiling.

"What is it bud?" he asked. Jack's eyes quickly filled with tears.

"It's a paper weight! Daddy, I thought you would like it!" he whined, and was out Hotch's office door before he even knew what happened. He shook his head and shot out the after his son.

Emily was flying through her paperwork and immersed in the song playing over her ipod when she felt a tiny body collide with the side of her chair. She quickly turned to find Jack, tears streaming down his face and nose running like no tomorrow. She pulled out her earbuds and turned her chair.

"Hey Jack, what's wrong?" She didn't even get an answer, just a whole new round of tears. "Oh bud…" She scooped him up and he nestled against her shoulder. She shushed him while rubbing tiny circles on his back, waiting until the crying subsided until she spoke. "What happened?" She whispered into his hair. Jack sniffled a few times but finally answered.

"I made Daddy a present and he didn't like it. I made you one too, but you probably won't like it…" he said, his voice increasing in sharpness as he neared the end of the sentence and she could feel that tears were once in again about to come.

"Jack, give me my present. Let me see if I like it." He nodded slightly and handed her his gift. Emily studied the blue Troll doll covered in glitter. She laughed. "Jack its beautiful! It's going to look so good on my desk!" she exclaimed. She got the effect she had been looking for.

"Really?" he asked, wiping his tears, "You like it?"

"Jack," She said, tapping his nose for emphasis, "I love it." Hotch came trampling down the stairs right at that second and they turned to face him. Jack crossed his arms in front of him in a pout. His face was accusing.

"Emmy liked my present!" Aaron ran his hand through his hair.

"Jack, I think my present is awesome, I just wasn't expecting it to be pink." He said in defense. Jack stuck out his tongue. Emily followed suit. "Come on you two… you know we don't stick our tongue's out." He scolded. Emily wiggled hers in defiance and Jack did the same. He sighed. He wasn't going to win this, not when the two people he was arguing with he couldn't say no to. Emily turned to Jack and rubbed her chin in mock thought.

"What do you think Daddy can do to make it up to us?" she whispered. Jack didn't hesitate.

"Ice Cream!" he shouted and all Hotch could do was shrug.

"We'll be all better?" he asked for verification.

"Yep." Jack said and smacked Emily a high five.

"Victory!" Emily shouted. This was the reason he woke up and faced the day. To see the people he love smile made the fight worth continuing. In this job, if you weren't careful, you could drown in the ever growing darkness. As he grabbed his coat, he recognized what Emily and Jack were to him. His sunshine, his light, his everything.

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.  
**Zora Neale Hurston**


	18. A New Day

**So, as much as it pains me to say this, I believe this will be the final chapter of Not This Time. Thanks so much to all my readers and reviewers, I don't know if I could have finished it without you! I feel a little like crying…. Here it goes. :(**

Emily was sitting at the round table, listening to JJ go over the next case. It was a gruesome set of killings that spanned over 4 years that detectives in North Carolina had just put together. The team was all deep in thought, completely immersed in their reading and JJ's small presentation. This was going to be a long one, she could feel it in her bones. Silently, and unknown to the others, she surveyed each and every member of her team.

Garcia had a scared look on her face; she never had liked knowing the specifics. The expression seemed horribly out of place with her bright cheeks and green eye shadow. She clicked her long nails together, a signature sign of worry. She wasn't reading the form, or at least Emily didn't think she was. Penelope had been the bright to take away the dark for some time now. It was almost impossible to look at her and frown. Today she was sporting an Elmo shirt and a bejeweled vest that sparkled a rainbow on every surface when the light hit it. That was Garcia, that hadn't changed.

Morgan sat next to Pen, intense stare fixed on the packet. She couldn't help but be glad that he wasn't Unit Chief anymore, it just didn't fit him. Derrick was a brother, not a superior. He had been her silent friend, offering a hug when she wasn't even aware she was in need. He had stood up to the UnSub next to Hotch, putting his life on the line for her, a sure mark of someone who mattered. A friend who would do that was just a friend, they were family.

JJ was next at her board, pointing out the specifics of the case to all of them. The messenger as always. Whether it was horrible crimes that pained her to describe, or promises she would use all her power to keep, JJ was their messenger. When Emily had come in on numerous mornings, exhausted from nightmares, JJ had pulled her aside and merely listened. She did not interrupt, did not judge. When she needed a shoulder, it was JJ. A sister; a sure thing, in a world that wasn't.

Reid perched on his chair between her and JJ. His packet was closed, per usual. He had finished reading in only a few minutes. He was the baby of the group, the closest thing to a son she had ever had. He wasn't, but it didn't stop the maternal love that filled her up every time he let loose a lop-sided grin. Since Cyrus, she had always felt that specific emotion wash over her when he was around. She had protected him, and would protect him whenever he needed it. He could do it himself, but she found that it almost wasn't an option. He wasn't a boy, but wasn't quite a man. He was in a place in between that made him all the more loveable, and all the more genius. He had been her escape. By worrying about him, she didn't have to worry about herself. She could hug him, get a smile, or make him laugh even on days when it was impossible for her. Reid was Reid, something like a hot fudge sundae. Reminds you of childhood and makes your days just a little sweeter.

Rossi stood behind all of them. He nodded as JJ spoke and skimmed the pages. Her fatherly friend who was always quick with an innuendo, but even quicker with a reassuring whisper. It wasn't so much that he hugged her or protected her. Rossi had a special talent for reminding you how much you much you mattered, something as simple as a smile or a present on your birthday. That was his nature, to support and love without much speaking about it. He was one of the men she respected, and she valued what he thought of her. She had been nervous that he wouldn't get near her after everything, too much baggage for Love'em-and-Leave'em Rossi. JJ had come up with the name after a raving ex showed up in his office, and it had remained a permanent joke. But instead of shy away, as he easily could have, Rossi left her notes. It wasn't anything big, just little quotes to get her through the day. One, given on her last day in the hospital, had stuck with her:

The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste,

coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms,

inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instance, loving, laughing, defending,

and trying to find the common thread that bonds us all together.

_Erma Bombeck_

And last, was Hotch. Aaron. Her husband and best friend, the one who held her while the nightmares raged. He was the calming voice, the serene safety that always could bring her back from the edge. She had done it for him, with Foyet and after Haley. Broken didn't really come close to exactly what he had been, it was something closer to shattered. But she had been there, gathering the pieces, and trying to get the whole man back and here he was returning the favor. She loved him, of that she had never been more sure. Everything about him wasn't perfect, but she wasn't either. They fit together, making each other better human beings, better profilers, and now, if she dare say it, better parents. It was early, but the doctor had confirmed her suspicions. There were bound to be lots of precautions, but Emily was overjoyed. And on top of that, her family had surrounded her, filling her up with a happiness better than even those first rays of sunshine. She had a little boy, a husband, and one on the way, all of whom she loved. This was her, after everything, changed, but miraculously for the better.

"Wheels up in 20." JJ said.

She gathered her things and headed down to her desk, Hotch's hand finding hers for a squeeze. She smiled and squeezed back; she would tell him tonight. Grabbing her go bag, Emily Prentiss held her head up. Despite it all, she was here. Despite all, the BAU moved on.


End file.
